It occurred to me that even though Bill is a loud-mouthed carnivorous ruminant-hating bigot, he is surrounded by people on Fox that are pretty nice. I loved the local reporter from Fox, Mark Zinni. He was super-nice. He knows I am not a serial murderer like Bill says I am. So, perhaps I could get one of those nice people around Bill to realize the error of his ways.
I am going to start with Dennis Miller. He seems really sweet. I listen to him on the radio sometimes and he makes me laugh. We like the same type of music, too. I might be able to get him to help me force Bill to apologize. I watched an episode of "Mythbusters" where they showed that non-dairy coffee creamer was more explosive than weapons grade uranium. I have that creamer every day in my Baby's Key West Coffee. I can take the creamer and put it into some jars, sew it into a vest for Mr. Miller to wear under his suit jacket, and wire a electric switch to it. I can chew off the cable to the webcamera in my room here for wires. When Mr. Miller goes on the show, wearing the vest under his suit, he will tell Bill how he has wronged me and he has to apologize. When he refuses, he will throw open his suit jacket, and show him the vest I made and put his thumb on the switch. He'll shout: "Apologize to Dillie and no one gets hurt !" Bill seeing the coffee creamer and knowing that it is a potential thermonuclear device, will beg forgiveness. Dennis will wink at me and he and Bill will enjoy a cup of Baby's Hair of the Dog, extra strong, with lots of creamer in it.
No, this just won't work. It does sound very eco-friendly, but this won't work. The Fox studio just installed new body scanners that are programmed to detect Coffee Mate. Miller will never get past security. I must think of another way... Dillie