I am beginning to think Bill is pretending not to even notice me just to make me mad. He knows I am out here everynight, crying with a broken heart, as he flirts with all the viewers.  He doesn't call THEM homicidal maniacs. No ! Only me ! Yet he doesn't  call, he doesn't write, he doesn't send me roses, he doesn't even tap out "I am sorry, Dillie" with his "Patriot Pen" in morse code. How can he be so heartless? 

I WILL get even.

Each night he ends the show with some stupid show-offy word to impress his viewers and make them think he is soooo smart. As if he even knew the word before he had some underpaid intern look it up for him.  I know better.  But maybe this is a way I can get back at him.

If I could just reach my American Express Card (Green Alfafa Edition) that I got in the mail last month....got it !  Now, let me sneak off to my mom's office and get on the internet.  www.....amazon....dot ....com.  That sounds like a store that animals can order things in...it's named after a jungle after all.  User name: "Dillie" password: eatcud... wow! They have a lot of selection.   Here is what I need:  I-Verbose: Giant Electronic Thesaurus, Egomaniacal News Host Edition.  Perfect !!

I will order this and have it sent to me.  Just a few alterations here and there in the electronics, a few grams of home-made C-4 that I whip up from left over oatmeal, Fruit Loops, and pancake syrup...and Voila ! When Bill's underpaid intern  goes to look up his latest fancy-schmancy word of the night and presses the "find" button...KERBLEWIE !  No more intern.....just little shredded pieces of  greasy grimy "gofer"  guts everywhere. Bill will read the card and know it was me and apologize immediately. 

Oh no.....what do you mean my  Amex card was declined?  I thought I made a payment last month.  Did they not get the hay I sent? They said they neded some green.....darn. He will never apologize now.....

"Bill.... I love you so, I always will....."  Love, Dill

Dillie the Deer